“Hey, tell me. How many women do you know who look out the window of their shop every day and see both of their ex-husbands walking by?”

Carmela Lucciola asked me this question as we sat drinking cappuccinos. I had spent the afternoon shooting pastries for the website she hoped to make.

It’s been a long haul, but Carmela has managed to triumph. Her café, Egidio Pastry Shop is known to have the best cannoli in the neighborhood. And when that neighborhood is Arthur Avenue, the lively, raucous Italian section of the Bronx, it’s no small matter.

Established in 1912 as a family business, the Egidio Pastry Shop has a history of women rising above the mistreatment of men. Carmela has had her own unfortunate share of that history, but she has triumphed with grace, willfulness and humor. Her hospitality is legendary. It doesn’t matter if she has known you for 20 years of if this is your first visit, she will treat you like a guest in her home. This has made her shop the nucleus for everyone who comes to gather the great Italian food that makes the neighborhood famous.

Carmela was born in Italy and brought to America by her husband, Paolo (Paul) Polombo, in 1973. In 1987 Paul bought Egidio’s Pastry shop and installed Carmella there. By now she had learned to speak English and Spanish by doing clerical work in the local Mount Carmel library. Paul was interested in developing a career in politics and saw the bakery as a stepping-stone; he wasn’t interested in the hard work required by the business. But Carmela was delighted. She was passionate about the bakery, the customers and the hard work, and everyone loved Carmela. As Paul developed his career, he also developed a taste for other women. The final straw came in 1995 when he announced that he was going on vacation with his girlfriend. She filed for divorce, and although Mr Palombo had a number of properties by then, all Carmela wanted was her bakery. It took her a year to win it. A few years later Mr. Palombo was found guilty of taking a bribe, was sentenced to 1,000 hours of community service and had to resign from his state job.  He no longer had any businesses on Arthur Avenue. Carmela reigned.

In the mid-90’s Carmela married Raymond, the owner of Mt. Carmel Wines, a shop across the street from Egidio’s. Although they had been seeing each other for 4 years, the marriage, which to Carmela, was very happy, ended in 2 months when Raymond suddenly announced that he just couldn’t be married any more. Sitting with Carmela on one of her infrequent breaks, she looked up and said, “Ah, there’s Raymond walking by.”

Shortly after that she pointed out Paul Polombo as he passed by. You see, several years ago he made it back to Arthur Avenue and opened Polombo Pasty several doors down from Mt Carmel Wines.

Knowing a little about Carmela’s life, it’s easy to understand why she has her employees wear T-shirts that say:

“Life is uncertain, so eat dessert first.”

Behind the scenes at Egidio’s:

On a chilly Sunday morning my friend, Betsy Weis and I took refuge at City Bakery, an old favorite of ours at 3 West 18th Street. We were tired and stressed and needed the comforting aroma of coffee and pastry. During the hour we spent having breakfast we talked to a number of people, both staff and customers. What was their experience of City Bakery? We made this slide show with their answers. Click the arrow on the left to play.